Dear Friends I am writing my experiences for your information and knowledge.  Kindly read it and give serious thought to it.  It may help you to facilitate the development of your child.

PARENTS TO INTROSPECT: Parents should understand the nature of their child, his/her likes and dislikes, virtues and shortcomings from the beginning.  He should be made aware about the do’s and don’ts and his/her limits. 

Conditional granting of things:  The demands of children should not always be fulfilled, especially those which are not genuine.  The child must be prepared to listen to ‘NO’ also.  The family’s economic status must be communicated to the child.  He/she should be told about what the family can or cannot afford later on, no exemptions and relaxations should be given.  Parents should be in constant touch with his/her teachers either through phone or sms.  Parents should have faith not only in their child, but also in teachers.  Our culture, traditions, customs and rituals should be imparted to the children as the present generation is forgetting them.  We all should try to strengthen our roots and our values.  If we don’t take care of this aspect, how are the children expected to learn?  This should start from the beginning (at the pre-school stage), when child starts understanding our signals.

We need to make sure that each one of us performs our role in a proper and attentive manner, because this is a question of the future of our children; this is a concern of our students and future citizens of the country.  We should not be responsible for widening the so-called generation gap.  We are creating it and we only can bridge it.  Parents and teachers should behave as a friend, philosopher and guide to the children.  This will be possible only if the child confides in the parent and also in the teacher.  In my opinion, if the child hesitates to share his problems with his parents, the parents are failure.  Similary, if a helpless child or a child in trouble does not find any teacher in school to share his / her problems such a school and such teachers are absolute failures.

PARENT & CHILD:  Peer group monitoring should be done by both.  Each parent and student must know about the families of his/her friends.  A parent should never compare his child with his/her peer member of higher status or lower status.  The child should be taught to be proud of his/her individuality.  Parents should also not make a comparison between their children and overdo things.  Children should be taught to respect elders and teachers, by discussing positive aspects about family, school and teachers.  Developing a feeling of love among the children is very important.  If a child loves his family and his school, he can be successful in academics and also in life ahead.

SCHOOL AND TEACHERS TOGETHER: Teachers should follow a child centric approach.  Parents and teachers should not force things on the child.  Teachers should be able to understand the pace and growth rate of each child.  They should try to know the reasons for the display of abnormal behaviour of a child and no immediate punishment either by parent or by teacher should be imposed.  First, counselling should be given to the child at home by parents or grandparents.  Subsequently, teachers can send the child to the school counsellor.    Negative comments about the child’s family background or abilities should never be made.  No comparison between two students should be done in class, as it is humiliating.  Children may be told in private.  If something is to be conveyed to the child, his/her family conditions and circumstances should be kept in mind.  A one-time mistake on part of a child should be not taken forward for future reference.  Rather, it should be forgotten by teachers.  No accumulation of faults of students by teachers or by the parents should be done.  Every day should start as a free day with new thoughts and a new beginning.  The correct picture of a child should be given to all the parents by the teachers. Normally teachers tend to praise the child all the time, and never share his/her weak or negative points with parents.  This gives a jolt to them towards the end of the session / term.   There should be a clear understanding between teachers and parents about the child.  Teachers and parents must confide in each other with regard to the child.

PRINCIPAL & HEADS:  Heads should plan and organize enjoyable child-based activities under the co-curricular and co scholastic areas.  Our aim is to make our children confident and better communicatorsConfidence comes from participation:  class teachers must keep records of all the children and should ensure that each child participates in programmes on stage and faces and addresses the audience.  For developing good communication dkills, thought process should be built-up by giving them something to write on the topic of their interest, for instance, “Why do you like Salman Khan / Katrina Kaif”, “Which film did you see recently?”   “Whom do you like most in your family and why?”,  “Whom do you not like and why?”,  “What do you want to be in your life and why?”,  “Describe your friends / neighbours / places you want to visit & why?”,   “Who is your role model and why?”,  “Who is your best friend and why?”, “What functions are celebrated in your family?”,  “Do you know the family traditions of your friend?”  and so on these questions ignite the minds of children and they start thinking and imagining. 

Once the thought process starts, writing skills will gradually be develop.  The children would then definitely like to share their views with someone and subsequently, improvement in communication skills is noted.  In the process, he/she gains confidence also, as every time he will try to communicate in a better way.  In the present era, if a child is confident and good at communication, he is successful.  Marks, for which teachers and parents constantly pressurize children who are already under tension, do not matter so much later in life.  Parents should ensure that the child reads something other than textbooks; it may be a newspaper, magazine or any other book.  Discussion based on this reading should be done by the mother/father at home and by teachers in free time zone (arrangement periods, free period or home room period).

Joint and constant efforts by the school, teachers and parents help the children to grow gracefully with a balanced personality.  We (teachers & parents) cannot afford to be casual about this.  The benefits are reaped through proper time management and planning.  Parents who always complain about shortage of time, don’t give quality time to their children and try to fulfill their duties by giving their wards money and material possessions are, in my opinion, absolute failures and go on to spoil their wards.  We all should give topmost priority to the betterment of our children or else be prepared to lose them.  Everything is possible in this world: what is needed, is strong determination and the will to do so.  What we think and imagine today will be a reality in future.  The modern IT gadgets are proof.  So, when men can create such miracles, then why not think of our future (i.e. our children)?  I am performing my role in the best possible manner and most of my teachers are doing justice in performing their role and duties.  We now expect parents to do their bit seriously.  The future will then be ours.  

Last but not the least, I would like to share with you, my views about the poison being spread by the new and rapidly increasing so-called VIP culture.  These days, not only do the influential people and the leaders, but also affluent businessmen expect VIP treatment for themselves as well as their children.  The school believes in following all protocols and norms in giving respect to all VIPs when they visit the school.  The same is expected by their children.  As an academician, I think this is fatal, for such children will soon get out of hand, much to the distress of the school and the parents.  I feel that parents should understand the concept of equality among all the students. For students, there should be no concept of VIP students in the school as it is very important to maintain homogeneity and a healthy atmosphere in the classroom and refrain from spreading jealousy and unhealthy competitiveness.  This is not a normal occurrence in DPS, but for the last 3-4 years we have been coming across one or two cases every year.

With all good wishes to you and your ward for 2014-2015 and warm regards to all!


K.C. Pandey