PEER – PRESSURE AND PARENT’S – PERCEPTION
The modern Indian Education System is challenged at these two fronts. Peer-pressure among students is playing havoc on parents and teachers. I have experienced and discussed with others that today’s youth disrespect the respect for elders. Parents top students disapproval list, whereas, teachers fell on second pedestal. All parents, teachers and students are unhappy with the situation but instead of finding the solution blame each other.
Parents blame their kids and teachers, teachers blame the parents for not taking proper care of their ward, not inculcating good value systems at home; students blame both (parents and teachers) with a perception in mind that they are not being heard, not being understood and start saying the common phrase “Generation Gap”.
The problem is getting aggravated day by day and leading to adverse outcome in long run. I feel the solution lies with all the three stake holders - students, parents and teachers. Students, in their adolescence go for physical changes and this physical transition coupled with cultural adrift because of the internet, social networking sites, TV shows, easy availability of things due to parental business add fuel to the fire. In the present scenario, we cannot do anything for the ill-effects of internet, social networking sites and TV shows but we can limit and check them. Peer influence! we cannot do away it totally, it will be there and should be there for the proper growth of a child. If parents and teachers try forcible to isolate the child from his or her peer group it may prove more disastrous for the child and the family as it may result into anger and revolt. The core problem which I find is lack of understanding of the issue by each one of us and no serious efforts are put in by teachers and parents to bring the derailing train on the track.
Parents and teachers must have the knowledge of their wards and students peer group members. Parents must take out time from their schedule to know about their wards’ peer members and have friendly relation with their parents also. It develops the sound understanding and psychological acquaintance between the child and the parents. The other advantage is that your ward often listens more to parents of their peer friends as compared to his / her own parents so each parent should be a facilitator in bridging the gaps. Parent must try to interact with the child every day. This interaction can be general in nature to narrow down the differences. It will develop good feeling and concern for each other and pave way for your ward to be free with you. This year onward we have decided to award the exemplary parents from each wing on special occasion, where they would share their valuable tips on good parenting.
Teachers should keep a careful watch on the different peer groups, their activities in the class and outside school. They must talk to the different groups of students during school hours, parents be also called for proper briefing and feedback for the better coordination between teachers and parents. Teachers cannot and should not confine themselves only for the coverage of the syllabus. In good school the proper bonding is developed between the students and the teachers. General talks, light friendly discussions help a lot in resolving many issues. This bonding will help the children to share their problems which are not being heard at home. Unless each teacher tries at his / her own level to establish a cordial relation and bonding with students and their parents, fruitful results cannot be achieved. These days scores/marks are not very important, important is how good citizen are being prepared for future. The traits set during the schooling are permanent and child carries them for his whole life. College life does not leave much impact on their life.
As a teacher do we give differential treatment to our ward and other students? Do we plead our ward’s case with other teachers in same manner as we do in case of a general students? Do we try to seek special favour for our wards or ward of a parent who is friend of ours? THINK! Teachers are losing respect because of this dual nature. Believe me, we all are assessed 100 times a day in school and 1000 times by the people of society we live in. Same way parents many times display the same behaviour while pleading a case of his or her ward without understanding the views of teachers or other parents. This all is because of the value system which we all follow, if the value system is same for all including our wards and same every times, I think we would be able to nurture the children in a better way. If children find difference in preaching and actual action, they cannot have genuine respects for teachers and / or for parents. I have seen good children of good parents and challenge creator children of problematic families and these families face problems from their wards in later life also. So please be upright and leave rest on ALMIGHTILY GOD.
Now few words for my dear students:
I would like to advice my dear children to have faith in their parents, their teachers beside having good friendship and faith in the peer members. Only parents and teachers would always stand by your side. You should not compare yourself with your friends, your parents with the parents of your peers, as the two families are different in every aspect. Parents always give their best to the kids and it should be valued by you and don’t compel them to give you what your friends have, don’t compel them to do the things beyond their capabilities. Support your parents; don’t put your parents in awkward situations. Feel happy and contented on what you have. Study well, take part in the activities of your choice. Participation gives you good exposure, makes you confident, develops your communication skill, writing skill and will help you in handling the problems of your actual life in future. All good colleges, institutions, establishment, which you wish to join ask you to submit the details of what you have done during your school days. I believe 50-50 percent weightage must be given by the students to academics and activities.
Study carefully the following diagram:
Most favourable situation is when the student is at the centre of gravity of below given triangle. Equal pressure / equal influence will make perfect balance and all the 4 points will be on stable position. The other three options are like this:
If peer pressure is heavy on students, the combined effect of peer and student will fall on the base line (parents – teachers) and will break it. Why base line because teachers and parents only come first in their life.
Worst and best I have explained in words and also diagrammatically. The other options readers will have to work out and write. I invite your comments on this write-up. The best write-up will get special award and other good comments / elaboration on other options will also be awarded in a special function.
Experiences of My life has taught me that “As you sow so you reap”.
I wish all the very best to my dear students, their parents and teachers for new academic session 2013 – 2014 and believe that you all will set and cross new mile stone.
Delhi Public School Ranipur
Sector – III, BHEL Township
Haridwar – 249403 (Uttarakhand)
1. Helmet use is compulsory for all the students and staff. Reported defaulters will not be allowed to attend the school.
2. If any student brings four wheeler and parks it around the school / near the BHEL quarters, he /she will not be allowed to attend the school for a complete week.